Broken Heart

Well, today my heart is breaking. My cousin Shannon past away this morning at 1am. He had gone into the hospital last week and they determined that he had H1N1 in his lungs. They put him into a medically induced coma and his body just couldn't fight anymore. I knew this was a possibility, but I never thought this is how it would end. I am so sad for my family and our loss. Shannon was only 27 years old and he had so much to give to this world. He was such a wonderful guy and had such a great heart. I will be flying to Kansas City tomorrow night to be with my family and attend the funeral. I don't know how much heart break I can take, hopefully we'll get some good news soon.

Jerry Smith Pumpkin Patch

Today we took a day trip to Kenosha, WI to visit the pumpkin patch. Ella has been looking forward to this for awhile now, so she was very excited to actually be going. We got a little later start than we were hoping for (I was held up at the doctor), but we made it up there in time to grab a late lunch at Culver's and then head to the pumpkin patch. It was very busy today, seeing as that this was the first sunny day we have had in about 2 weeks!!! We still had a great time. They had displays set up with pumpkins painted with faces and setting on different bodies, most of them were children's characters. We also fed the farm animals for a bit and let Ella play on the playground. There was lots of room to walk, even with all the people. After a little snack of popcorn and a cookie we decided to try the corn maze. It wasn't much of a maze, we made one wrong turn, but it was still fun. Here is Ella and I in the maze.

Ella was so funny in the maze. Once we got into it she kept asking us if were reading our maps. Well, we didn't get maps for this maze (that's how easy it was!), so I gave her a piece of paper I had in my pocket and told her that was her maze. She carried it the rest of the way and kept telling us that we had to "go 15 paths to the north and 15 paths to the east". Then when we would pass the little signs that they had posted around, mostly stating fun facts, Ella would hold her map up to the sign and say "ok, we are going the right way". It was fun venturing through there with her, she really liked it.

Ella reading her "map"

After the maze we then went to pick out our pumpkins. They had some great pumpkins there! We picked out one fairly large one and then let Ella pick out a smaller one. We are hoping to carve them next weekend. It was a fun day and something different to do. It is only about 60 miles to drive up there and it's a nice change of scenery.

Here is Marc and Ella in front of the store

I figured I should throw in a couple of updates as well since I haven't written any blogs for awhile. As far as trying to get pregnant goes, we are trying again. Last month I took Clomid and some other hormones and we tried on our own and were unable to get pregnant. This month we are doing the same things, except we are going to do artificial insemination instead of trying on our own. So, we are hoping for the best, we just did the inseminations this weekend. I go back for a pregnancy test on October 30th.

The other major thing that has happened in our house is that we had to get rid of one of our cats, Mona. We have always had problems with Mona, she would potty on the floor frequently and she also had chronic upper respiratory problems. For the last month or so she had started peeing on the floor multiple times a day, every day. I had finally had enough and decided to bring her into the vet. I have had her into the vet many times throughout the last couple of years and there is nothing physically wrong with her, she just has behavior issues. So, Marc and I had decided that it was time to put her to sleep. I was having a very hard time with the decision, but I knew it was the right thing for us to do. I brought her in and was very emotional and had a good discussion with the vet. She wanted to make sure that I was aware of all my options and I was. So, she said if I wanted to put her down that was fine, we had exhausted our options (within reason). Although she offered me one last option, I could give up ownership of Mona and the vet would see if anyone at the vet office would be interested in taking her. If so, great, if not then she would be put to sleep. So, that was a good option for me seeing that Mona is the sweetest cat ever. I told the vet I didn't need to know what happened to her, so I can just assume the best! So, we have had a few hard weeks around here, but nothing major, just emotional.

Mona

Still not Pregnant

I went to the doctor yesterday for my pregnancy test and unfortunately it was negative. They did a blood test so I had to wait until about 3pm to get the results. It is frustrating that we are not pregnant, but we'll try again. My hopes are still high and maybe next month is our time. I'll keep you all updated.

Just some family updates

Since I haven't been very consistent in updating my blog I thought I should do a quick update of things happening. With Ella turning 3 in September I was able to sign her up for preschool through the park district. She started on September 22 and absolutely loves it! She gets to go with her best friend Emma. Her teachers name is Miss Jenny and she goes Tues and Thursdays from 10:30-noon. It's not too long, but enough time for me to run a couple of quick errands! She is having so much fun so far.

Here is her and Emma walking in on the first day.

That same week she also started her gymnastics class, through the park district as well. She gets to go into class without me and I actually don't get to watch or anything! They shut the door, so that the kids can stay focused and listen to the teacher. I get to see what she has learned on the last day of class. She is loving it and really likes her teacher Ms. Kelly.

Here she is on her first day (in front of the Gatorade machine)

Other happenings in our family is that we are trying to have another baby. For those of you who don't know, Marc and I have been trying to get pregnant since July 2008, so for about 14 months now. We decided to see a fertility specialist and I had my first appointment on September 8th. So, we went through a cycle of fertility treatments, medications and hormones, nothing too major. I will go to the doctor on Monday to see if we are pregnant! If not, we'll try again. Hopefully, I'll have some great news soon!!!!

I'm going to try and keep up better with my blog. I enjoy writing it, I just haven't been getting to it.

Look Who's Three!!!!

That's right, Ella celebrated her third birthday last weekend (Sept 27th). I really can't believe that she is three years old. She is such a fun little girl, so full of life and imagination. She has really been celebrating her birthday for the whole month of Sept, but her birthday party was last Saturday. We had a "My little pony" theme and she was so excited. We thought we were going to have 7 kids at the party, but the morning of the party two families called and said the kids had fevers and weren't going to be able to come, bummer :( So, it ended up being Ella, her friends Ella and Brady (sisters) and her cousin Johnathon. We were also lucky to have Marc's brothers, John and Adam come over and their girlfriends and our neighbors Jamie and April. Ella didn't mind that there weren't many kids, Ella and Brady are two of her best friends so she had a blast.

I made her a "My little pony" cake! It turned out pretty well, not the best, but Ella loved it.

We had the party on our rooftop deck, so we could have more space to play. I found a "my little pony" pinata at Party City. It was a pull string one, I didn't think that a baseball bat and three year olds would be good together. The girls loved pulling the strings off! Here they are trying to get it open.

There were even a couple rounds of ring around the rosie played!

Instead of giving out goody bags I made stick horses for the kids. They turned out so cute and the girls thought they were pretty cool. Johnathon didn't care much for them, he is getting a little too old! But Ella and Brady got to take theirs home with them and Ella has been playing with hers all week. Here is Ella riding on her "Pinkie Pie". Notice her birthday shirt too! I ordered an iron on transfer that had her name on it and just put it on a white shirt. She thought that was really cool and wore it two days in a row.

After her friends went home we let her open all her presents, she was so excited. She loved everything she got. Her big present from Marc and I was a playhouse tent for her room, it is really cool. Here she is trying it out.

Her real birthday was the next day, Sunday. I made her cinnamon rolls for breakfast and put a candle in it for her. She was really into the candles this year.

After we all got ready we took Ella to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs at the theater down the street. She loves going to the movies and having popcorn! The movie was cute and Ella enjoyed it and spending time with Mommy and Daddy.

We finished off the day by taking her out for pizza for dinner. I think that she had a great birthday this year. I had a lot of fun planning her party and making sure she had a very special day. I love her so much and love the little girl she has become (most of the time!). I have to say that she challenges me on a daily basis and sometimes this attitude is more than I can handle, but overall she is very fun.

Allergy update

I just realized that I never posted an update about Ella and the possible allergies. We saw a specialist while we were in MN and he was very helpful and answered all my questions. Basically he said that he doesn't believe Ella has any allergies! There is a 50-60% false positive rate with the blood allergy tests. He said that in children they almost never test for food allergies unless they show a reaction to food. Good news for us, but a very stressful couple of weeks. Glad that we saw the specialist and got some expert advice.

3 year Check-up

Today I took Ella in for her three year check up and she got her flu shot. So, she is 36 1/2 inches tall and 28.5 lbs. A little small, she is about the 25% for both height and weight. I'm not surprised that she is small, I was the same way. I was always really small until I hit puberty, so she may be the same way.

I can't believe that she will be three is less than 2 weeks!! She is such a great little girl. She is very caring and always thinking. She loves animals (both real and stuffed), hot dogs, crackers, her kitties, and blanky! She told me that her best friends are Emma and Kaia (her cousin). Ella is also going to start a preschool program next week. It is two days a week for and hour and a half. Not much, but something for now. I'm excited for her to have more independence and see what she can do.

What to do now?!?

Ella got blood taken the other day at the doctor to test for allergies, and the doctor called last night with the results. It turns out she has quite a few mild allergies; milk, egg whites, wheat, household mildew, cat and dog dander. To be honest I'm not even sure what all this means. I spoke with her doctor's nurse today and asked a few questions, but I still have more. From what I am understanding, mild allergies means that they can usually tolerate the allergens, but if they keep being exposed to them, then the allergy can increase. So basically everything that Ella eats right now she is allergic to! I don't even know where to begin with trying to change everything, this is very overwhelming. Little steps for now and hopefully get in to see a nutritionist soon. If anyone has any ideas, I'm open for ideas.

I know it's been forever!!!!

It had been forever since I posted but I thought that Ella's trip to the hospital deserved some writing. So, on Friday night I had to take Ella to the ER. She was having some trouble breathing and it was getting worse. She had an episode similar to this about a month and a half ago and I took her to urgent care and they did a chest xray and ruled out pneumonia and said as long as it got better and not worse it was probably nothing major to worry about. We went to her regular doctor the next day and they said it was probably caused by a virus that was causing brachial constriction. So, when she started having the same issue again on Friday I was concerned, but not overly worried. But when she went to bed at 7 and then woke up at 8 and it seemed worse, I started getting concerned. I took her to the ER at about 8:30pm and we were seen right away. As soon as the doctor came in and saw her he ordered a nebulizer treatment for her and we got transferred to a different room. In our new room they came and put an IV in her little arm and took blood, gave her some magnesium and steroids and let us be for a while. She then got another round of nebulizer treatment and was feeling better, besides all the "pokes".

Doing her nebulizer treatment in the ER

They decided that she needed to be admitted to the hospital and be monitored for 24 hours :( I then called Marc and he was on his way, in a cab! All Ella wanted Daddy to bring was a balloon, so Marc stopped at the grocery store and found her a butterfly balloon, a race car, and a box of Reese Pieces. Once Daddy came with the presents she was feeling a little better.

Happier after daddy brought her a balloon

As soon as they told me we had to stay, my heart just sank. I couldn't picture how it was going to be to stay in a hospital with a two year old. It was so painful to watch her get poked and prodded by all the nurses and doctors. I shed a few tears to say the least.

We didn't get sent up to the hospital room until about 2am! I was exhausted and had been up since about 5:30am, Ella was also exhausted (obviously). Marc stayed with us until we were all settled in and then headed home, as we had his sister and her boyfriend staying with us. Ella ended up sleeping for about 4 hours and I think I maybe got about an hour. Saturday morning we waited until the attending doctor arrived at about 8am, for him to tell us the next move. He came in and listened to her breathing and decided that we better stay for another 24 hours. He also wanted to hook her back up to her IV and do nebulizer treatments every three hours and steroids every 6 hours. That news broke me, I couldn't imagine spending a whole day and another night there. I called Marc and told him the news and he came back over as soon as he could. I was able to get home and shower and relax for a bit then headed back. Ella was so brave the whole time and such a good girl. We got up a few times and walked around our unit with her IV pole and everything! We managed to make it through the day with lots of cartoons and treats. Marc stayed with us through the evening and then headed home again to spend some time with his sister and get some good sleep. Ella and I managed to get to bed about 10pm. She decided that she wanted to sleep in the pull out bed (that was supposed to be my bed), so I let her sleep there, I figured as long as she slept I didn't care. So, that left me sleeping in the child size bed/crib! Ella slept for almost 10 hours and I got at least 4 or 5, so not that bad. We patiently awaited the doctors arrival the next morning. He came at about 8am again and gave us the ok to head home. The diagnosis is still not 100%. It could have been an asthma attack or some kind of allergic reaction. She was breathing fine when they let us go home an the doctor gave us a prescription for an inhaler to use until we saw our regular doctor. We went to the regular doctor yesterday and she gave us a prescription for Singular, which Ella will take daily and they took blood to do some initial allergy testing.

It was the most emotionally exhausting thing I have every been though! I can't even imagine how parents do it when their kids have to be in the hospital long term. My heart goes out to all families with kids in the hospital. Thank you to everyone for all the kind words and thoughts. Ella is back to her regular self, attitude and all!

Hooked up to her IV and watching cartoons

Easter

We had a great Easter up in MN this year. The weather was actually great this year, warm even! Ella and I went home early, on Tuesday and spent some quality time with family. Marc drove up on Friday and then we all drove home together on Monday. Of course our time there was extremely busy, got to pack everyone in! I was able to visit my friend April and her new baby, Isabella (just 5 days old). It was great to see them, it's been a long time since I have seen April, so this visit was extra special. Ella and I both managed to get a haircut while home, and did some shopping at the outlet mall for a day. Then of course we had all the Easter fun as well. Our family does a huge seafood dinner on Easter eve, which I prepared with my sisters. Then on Easter we went to church, brunch, had an Easter egg hunt, and a big dinner at home. It was a great day.

Walking to our flight

Ella and Kaia after their haircuts

All the cousins (except Kaia) in the bath

Dyeing Easter eggs

Matching Easter dresses

This is our attempt to get all the kids in one picture.
There are about 6 or 7 pictures, all about this good!

Hunting Easter eggs

Ella and Harley got the front yard and the big kids got the back yard.

Our try at a family picture

We had such a good time in MN, as usual. While up there we also got to go see the progress on the lake house my parents are building at Lake Pipen. It is going to be a beautiful house and a great place for our family to gather. Lots of outdoor space to use and a great beach right down the street.

Ballet

Today I took Ella to her first Pre-Ballet/Creative Movement class at the park district. I was very cute. They can wear leotards and tutus and ballet slippers. Ella was all decked out. Here she is as we are getting ready to leave the house.

The class is for 18-36 months, so they are all pretty little still. The class is just about moving and trying to follow directions. The parents also have to participate in the whole class, so it's fun for all :) I hope that Ella enjoys the class and wants to keep dancing, follow in her mommy's footprints. Here are some more pictures from class today.


Here is a video of her practicing her dancing last night. She was so funny and came up with this little move all on her own. She kept showing it to me and told me it was her "pretty dance". She had just had her bath so her hair was wet and she put on her dress up clothes to perform.

We're Back!

I have my computer back and ready to start blogging again!! Well like every one else, we have been enjoying this warmer weather the last few days. Ella played outside both days this weekend and we went to the park today! It was great to be outside again and feel the warmth of the sun. Ella had a great time at the park today and was running around like a crazy kid. It was so fun to see her do things that she wasn't able to do last year. I love watching her and seeing her play and try to connect with the other kids. She is very social and not shy at all. She was walking right up to kids today and asking what their name was and she was playing pretend with a girl she had just met. I'm glad that she interacts well, I was so shy as a kid and I'm glad she isn't like that.

We also were in Ohio a week ago to visit Marc's sister, her new baby and his Grandma. His sister and brother-in-law live in Toledo and just had a baby, Gabriel, in December. This was the first time we got to see him, he is adorable. It was fun to be around a little baby again.

Gabe, Almost 3 months old

Gabe was one reason we headed out there and the other was to go and visit Marc's Grandma Brash in Cincinnati. She is in nursing home there and it's only about a 3 1/2 hour drive from Toledo. So, we drove in on Friday and stayed with Rachael and Craig, then headed down to Cincinnati on Saturday to visit Grandma Brash. His Grandma is not in very good health and doesn't usually know we are even there. She was having a good day the day we went there and she was glad we were there. It's really hard to understand anything she is saying, but we know that she was happy to see us and to meet Gabe for the first time.

Grandma Brash meeting Gabe

Marc, Ella, Grandma, Rachael and Gabe

I was very proud of Ella the day we went to see Grandma Brash. I was worried how she was going to react to seeing her. It's not easy for a two year old to understand why she looks different, why she can't walk, and why her head is always hanging to one side. But, Ella was so good!!!! She said hi and tried to talk to Grandma a couple of times. Then she colored her a picture and even gave her a hug (the best she could) before we left. Plus, she was just overall good. Marc's aunt and uncle live close to the nursing home, so we went to their house afterwards and had dinner and hung out. It was nice to visit with them. Ella loved Uncle Steve's model train down in the basement. She could barely eat anything because she wanted to go and blow the whistle some more.

It was funny to see how Ella interacted, or ignored, the baby. She really didn't have much interest in him, but she thought she would like to try and hold him once (Gabe didn't really like that). All in all it was a good weekend, busy and lots of driving, but good. I'm glad that we got to finally meet Gabe and that we got to see Grandma Brash.

Giving Gabe a kiss

One more thing: Ella loves books, always has. Lately she is into "reading" them by herself. I'm usually impressed by how many words she actually remembers in the books. Well, we checked out Brown Bear, Brown Bear, what do you see? from the library a few weeks ago and once we read it, she had to read it at least 3 times a day. Then one night she told us she was going to read it herself and she did. She had memorized almost all the words and we were able to catch it on video.

Slacking

I know I've been slacking lately on writing my blog. I don't really know why, just haven't been that motivated to update it. Plus, we had to send our computer in for repairs, so I don't have any of my pictures on a computer right now. There hasn't been much going on. Ella and I are trying to start getting out more. We visited the Lincoln Park zoo last week (when it was warm out), we also went to the Nature Museum last week and the Garfield Park Conservatory yesterday. She really likes to get out and see things, and it's nice to change up the routine every once in awhile.
Besides that, we had a good Valentine's Day weekend. Marc and I were able to get out by ourselves for awhile on Saturday. Marc's brother, Adam, came over and babysat for us for the afternoon and we went to an early movie and early dinner. We had a really good time and it was nice to be out by ourselves. Ella was a very good girl for Uncle Adam, took a nap and everything! But then Monday morning Marc woke up not feeling well. I thought I felt fine until I was out at the conservatory with Ella. While we were out I started to not feel well at all. So, Marc spent the whole day in bed and I managed through the day with Ella. I got a little bit of sleep while she was napping, but it was a rough day. We are both feeling better today. I'm not sure what we have or if we even have the same thing?!? As long as we feel better instead of worse. That's all I have for now, hopefully I'll have some pictures to post soon.

Bye bye to diapers!!!!!

Yes it's true, we are saying bye bye to diapers (at least during the day). We started potty training with Ella this past weekend and she took to it very well. I put panties on her Friday after her nap and we haven't gone back to diapers since. She is only wearing diapers for naptime and over night. She only had five accidents all weekend!!! She still won't tell us that she has to go, but if we ask she will. I even ventured out with her today, I was very nervous about having accidents. She did pretty well. We went to the gym and she went to the daycare for about an hour. She had a poopy accident in her pants, but that was it, not too bad. She is all about her underwear now, we got her some Dora, Elmo and Minnie mouse ones.

Friday when I first put her panties on

Playing dress up

Using her potty with her bib on

So, I guess so far so good with the potty training. I'm sure it will just get better. I'm sure with time she'll be telling us when she needs to go. As of now I'm fine with just asking her when she needs to go.

Here are just a couple of other cute pictures from the last couple of weeks. Even though she has been a brat the last couple of weeks she is still very snugly and likes to give mommy hugs and kisses.

Ella and Mona chasing a laser light

Mr. Potato Head

A big girl ponytail

Here she is singing some of her songs!!!

A very hard week

So this week has really been testing my patience as a mom. Ella has been throwing bad tantrums and yelling and screaming at her free will. Anytime I say no or she isn't getting what she wants she starts to scream. So, if she doesn't stop I've been giving her a time out which sets her off all over again! Needless to say it's not fun and doesn't bring out the best in either of us. It's hard to rationalize with a two year old and they just don't understand things yet. Although I do usually get an "I'm sorry mommy" from her sometime during the timeout. I do make sure that I ask her what she is sorry for and usually she does know what she should be apologizing for, which is good. I have just been feeling like a bad mom though. It's hard not to lose my patience with her, which I have a few times. I know that yelling back at her isn't going to make things better, but sometimes I just do before I can even think about it. Keeping my cool is not easy. I guess all I can hope for is this latest phase of tantrums doesn't last too long!!

On another note, we are going to try and do potty training this weekend! Wish us luck. I'll post something on Monday and let you know how it's going.

Christmas in MO

From MN, Ella and I heading down to my grandparents house in MO with my family. Marc had a concert to go to on Sunday so he headed home instead of coming to MO. We didn't want to have to drive back to back days to make it home in time for his concert so we thought it would be best if he just came home and Ella and I flew home on Monday.
See, normally we would be at my grandparents for Christmas and do Santa and all the presents there, but this year my dad put his foot down. He was tired of driving all the presents to MO to open them there, so that's why we spent actual Christmas at their house. We still had a great time in MO with the rest of the family. My grandparents house is small and we shove as many people as possible in it. The kids were getting restless and wanted to play outside, but it was a mud swamp out! We had to wait until the temp dropped on Sat afternoon and everything froze then we took them outside. They all got to take a turn "driving" the tractor.

Putting bread bags on Ella's feet, there was a lot of mud!

Happy to be outside

Sara and her kidsAlicia and Kaia

Ella driving the tractor with Papa

I always enjoy spending time at my grandparents house, we don't get to see them that often. Although it's difficult to get the kids to sleep at their house. See, we all sleep upstairs which is just one big room with four beds. So, I'd usually put Ella to bed first and get her to sleep, then Sara would bring up her kids one by one to go to sleep. Then finally we would try and get Kaia to sleep and then bring her up. Needless to say we had very tired kids for the trip, but they had fun. Here is a picture of some of them napping, or should I say passed out!
Before we left we got a picture of four generations. My grandparent, my mom, my sisters and I and our kids.

Then a picture of just our family

I feel blessed to have such a great family and for everyone to be healthy. I loved every minute of spending time with everyone, but I am glad to be home and getting back to normal.